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Apr. 24th, 2012


to walk again

I went through the spine surgery. I can walk again but still suffer pain. I will be going to Portland this weekend but I have to get over an ear infection first. Hope all my LJ friends are doing well.

Mar. 20th, 2011


mentaly gone

have not logged in in almost a year. I have been occupied with the law suit and the gallery on Second life. I just wanted to let my friends know I am still alive. I will be going through spinal surgery soon. don't know the date yet but it will be schedualed as soon as I go through a few more tests.

Also my Mom passed away in early November.

Apr. 13th, 2010


been too busy

I have been in second life and built the art Gallery I wanted to. I have spent the last 2 months plus trying to keep it busy and do other buisness things in that world. Zap has a job and has given me a budget to use. Things are different now. He will have to leave soon for a ten day trip for his job. I have to spend that time with my family because i can't stay here on my own. not will my health anyway. I will miss him teribly. and I wish I could just stay here. but I miss my sisters at the same time and want to visit them.

I had to give up my pet rats and mice because my dear Roo has developed bad asthma. I wish I could get another pet but other animals are hard to travel with or someone in the family is alergic. I wanted a hermit crab but they need to be kept at such warm humid conditions that they are not practical with me having to stay in grantsville for a few weeks every 3 0r 4 months.

I miss having living things around when zap is out. But it's better he has a job.


Nov. 7th, 2009


My party...

I get to have my birthday party tonight. I've been planing it for a month and it looks like it will go well. I hope that everyone who comes will have fun. I will post the after party news in the next few days.

Nov. 6th, 2009


31 birthday plans...

Today is my 31st birthday. I plan on spending the day sleeping. I have to go into the doctor's office in a few moments. They will be doing an injection into my spine to relive some of the pain I'm in from that car accident. I'm told my Grandmother had to endure injections like this. I have to admire the woman, but I still wish that I wasn't in the same rickshaw.

Oct. 26th, 2009


Too long since i have posted....

I have not posted in some time. I have been preoccupied with facing each day. I have and appointment with the doctor tomorrow about my pain and how useless my legs have become. I am still dealing with waiting for the settlement.

I am working on a story for my daughter about magic and princesses and knights. I want to finish it by the time she is ready to read chapter books. I just have to keep at it. I need to finish an original story for once instead of playing with FanFiction.

I am trying to actually face the challenge issued by the LDS church to read the Book of Mormon by the next session of General Conference. I keep trying to finish the book, but I never finish it before the next challenge to start at the beginning is issued. Dyslexia and small print are just part of the problem. The other part is that I get distracted. I finally figured out how to put the MP3 disk I had on my iPod, but it turned out that the very first chapter was missing from the MP3 recording. That is not a big problem, but it is kind of annoying.

Sep. 14th, 2009


accepting sad facts.

I am a paraplegic. The word does not mean paralyzed from the wasted down as some think. It means that at least two of my limbs are limited in use because of a long term injury. A quadriplegic may still be able to write or steer there own wheelchair, but because they don't have full use of their arms they are quadri instead of para.

Two and a half years after the accident just after renewing my permanent handicapped parking permit and a year and a half after accepting that a wheelchair is part of my life;I finally accept that the word applies. I may still have hope of walking outside without help after surgery, but the law suit is taking so long that I am depressed. Even after surgery there will always be pain and I will never have complete control of my left leg back.

I just have to tell myself it is all a lesson, because it is. How my grandmother lived with similar limitations and could still smile? It makes me admire her more.

Sep. 12th, 2009


A deep wound in our souls...

I went through some Patriot day overload. Too much going over images and facts that are burned into my soul so deeply it hurts like no other pain in my entire life. I have my reasons to hurt. My health sucks and I don't get to have my kids around every day. But the rehash of 9/11 was enough that now I can't sleep. It's amazing how just a few idiots can go and do such horrible things.

I need to go to bed or the ridge jumping migraine I had is going to come back.

Aug. 29th, 2009


Time's Trick

I kissed my son on the forehead
He was wet and smelled like rain
And I wished just for a moment
That I was a child again
That I could run through the sprinklers
As these last days of Summer came
Oh Fickle Father Time
I wished
Please take away my pain

Aug. 24th, 2009


Answered prayer

One of my patient assistance applications was granted and AstraZeneca gave me some Seroquel to help me through while Zap continues to look for a job. Hopefully it will be a enough. I'm still waiting to hear about Trileptal from Novartis. Hopefully it will come through. I say it was an answered prayer, so I will thank God and keep hoping & praying.

Zap is an Atheist, so I tell him to hope while I pray. It works for us, so if you aren't religious please hope while I pray and if you are religious please pray with me while the others hope. Zap really needs one of the jobs he's applied for to come through and So do I.

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